Fixing You To Save Myself
by LadyCizzle
Summary: Sequel to 'Cleansing the Soul With Dirty Hands'. Eliot comes by to check on Hardison and doesn't like what he finds. Angsty with happy ending one-shot.


**Summary: Hello to everyone on this fine Sunday afternoon. I'm back with another wonderful Leverage fic if I do say so myself and thought it would be nice to share it with you. Like I mentioned before this would be a sequel to Cleansing the Soul, a must read if you want to understand this fic. Also before you read I must warn you that this mentions slight drug use but not any major drugs. At least I don't believe that the drug is major or if it even exist so it shouldn't be a trigger for anyone. I really hope not. Well anyways, enough rambling. Enjoy!**

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**Disclaimer: If I owned this show I would be sitting where I'm sitting writing what I'm writing. I would so be engaged to Aldris Hodge and eating a delicious Easter feast.**

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**Author's Note: Slightly AU and unbeta'd so all mistakes are mine. Thank you and good night**

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**Fixing You To Save Myself**

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A week after the shooting, Eliot swung by Hardison's place to make sure the hacker was alright. Since the shooting happened in the middle of the con, the team had no choice but to continue until the job was finished. After successfully completing the con Nate decided the team needed a few weeks off to recover, something each member greatly appreciated. Sophie and Nate decided to do something together while Eliot simply residing to giving his body the rest and relaxation it deserved.

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The first few days had been great, the alone time giving Elliot the time he needed to not only recover but try out a few new recipes as well. After he had spent the last hour making a batch of vanilla blueberry muffins he decided to take a few to Hardison and Parker who he hadn't seen since the mandatory vacation. Even if he wouldn't admit it out loud he was dangerously worried about his friend since that fateful night of the shooting. Deep down he knew that Hardison might not be coping well with what he had done.

Knocking on the door, he waited patiently for someone to answer and when no one did he knocked again. By the third knock, Eliot started to worry that something bad had happened and was just about to kick the door in when it suddenly swung open to reveal a disheveled looking Hardison.

"I know damn well you wasn't about to kick my door in," hissed Hardison once he noticed Elliot's stance.

"You should have answered it the first time I knocked."

Hardison blocked the doorway with his entire body. "I was coming. I had to...put away some stuff but I was coming. Besides, you're not supposed to be here."

"I brought muffins," Eliot gruffly as he thrust the basket at Hardison's chest and brushed past him. What he saw shocked him. There was clothes thrown everywhere. Empty energy drink cans and candy paper littered the floor and every piece of counter space along with more than a dozen takeout containers. The mess wasn't like the OCD hacker at all. Eliot couldn't help but wonder how Hardison was living like this.

"Um...thanks," replied Hardison, closing the door and turning around to see Eliot scowling at him. "What?"

"Seriously. What the hell is with this place man?" Eliot asked, pointing curiously at the mess in front of him. "I know you're better housekeeper than this."

"It's been a long couple of days alright," Hardison answered with a shrug before he walked over to the counter and picked up an open bottle of soda and took a large gulp. "Thanks for the food, you can leave now."

But Eliot didn't budge. "Where's Parker?" he asked sternly.

"I don't know," shrugged Hardison again, twitching slightly. "Off doing Parker things that probably involve breaking into secure vaults and jumping off buildings. Not like her keeper or anything."

"Right. How long has she been gone?"

"She went back to her own place two nights ago. What's with all the questions dude?" he asked with a scoff.

Raising a eyebrow, Eliot simply glared at Hardison, frowning somewhat. "There's something going on here?" he hissed, looking around the room once more.

Hardison chuckled nervously. "Eliot there's nothing going on so why don't you take you and your suspicious thoughts home. Like now," he replied, pointing towards the door in hopes that the hitter would listen. "I'll tell you what, you leave now and I'll swing by your place Sunday and we can watch whatever game you want. Including hockey," he stated with the added incentive. "I'll even bring pizza and beer. Sounds good right," grinned Hardison coyly.

That was enough to inform Eliot that there was in fact something off about Hardison. "Today is Sunday."

He stared at Eliot confused for a moment before nervously chuckling once more. "It is. I mean of course it is...it is Sunday but I meant next Sunday. Next Sunday with the pizza and beer. Okay."

Not saying anything else, he reached out and grabbed Hardison by the chin, jerking him forward. That's when he noticed something wrong with Hardison's eyes. Eliot let out a deep growl. "Dammit Hardison I'm gonna ask you this one time and one time only. What the hell have you been taking?"

"I haven't been taking anything," denied Hardison, trying to pull away but to no avail. "Let me go," he demanded, slapping at Eliot's hand.

Eliot only squeezed tighter. "Don't lie to me."

If the glare wasn't enough to make Hardison want to spill his guts, the grip on his chin sealed the deal leaving him no choice but to tell the truth. "Alright fine," he spat, pulling away finally. "I have been taking something but it's not what you think."

Folding his arms, he gave a slight nod. "Well then please, enlighten me."

Hardison let out a sigh. "The truth is I was having nightmares, really bads one, so I've been taking something to help me."

"To help what, help you sleep."

"To stay awake," he admitted quietly. "If I don't fall asleep then I don't dream and everything's okay."

"Dammit Hardison you know that's insane right. Do you know what will happen to your body if you don't get the proper amount of sleep?"

"I know dammit alright. I don't need you acting like a mother hen because I've been keeping myself awake. Besides, it's not like it's the first time I went a few days without sleep. I'm fine."

"Yeah, you're fine alright. You're just peachy with diluted eyes, a flushed face, and the inability to remain still. You're completely normal Hardison. Where are the pills?"

"Eliot."

"Where are the freaking pills Hardison? Don't make me ask you again."

Hardison's head snapped up as he looked at Eliot with pleading eyes. "You can't take them. Please El...don't take them," he whispered, begging hopefully. "If you take them then I'll have to sleep and I can't do that right now. I can't. Don't make me."

"I have to do this," answered Eliot with a regretful sigh. "You know I can't leave knowing that you're here, in over your head. You don't even know what day it is."

"I'm not in over my head. I know what I'm doing and I don't need your permission to do it."

Eliot grinned evilly, folding his arms across his chest as he took a step closer to Hardison. "Oh really 'cause the way I see it you have two choices," he stated. "You either give me the pills voluntarily or I'll rip this entire place apart myself to find them and you know I will."

"Fine, I'll just get more. It's nothing to fake a prescription," replied Hardison defiantly as he crossed his own arms and gave Eliot an angry glare.

"Then I'll tell the team exactly what you've been doing. I know for a fact they won't be to pleased when they hear the news."

"You wouldn't."

"I would and I will if you don't give me the damn pills, Hardison," he growled sternly.

Hardison gritted his teeth angrily and gave Eliot a stiff nod. "Fine. They're in the room, I'll be back."

"No need," Eliot replied with a shrug. "I'll come with you."

Gritting his teeth once more, he headed to his room, Eliot right on his heel. Walking over to the dresser, he opened it up and pulled out a small, bright orange bottle, and held it out to Eliot. "Thomas Mitchell," he whispered before Eliot could take the bottle from his hand.

Eliot pulled back confused. "What."

"That was his name," replied Hardison with a sad frown. "Thomas Mitchell, born in 1976 in Topeka, Kansas. He was dishonorably discharged from the Army for sexually harassing a female officer and arrested several times for domestic battery. He even spent three and a half years in prison for almost beating his wife to death. Since that he's been a hired goon for almost every major criminal in the state and yet I feel horrible for what I did."

"Hardison you did what you had to do?"

"I didn't have to kill him. I could have just disarmed him like you would've. Like I've seen you do countless times but I didn't."

Eliot let out a compassionate sigh. "That's because you can't do what I do Hardison. The reason I can do those thing is because I've been taught to do them. It has taken me years of practice and discipline to achieve the level of skill I have and it's not something everyone can do. It's not something everyone should do."

"I just want to look at myself in the mirror and not see a cold-blooded killer."

"Lets make one thing clear," he stated adamantly as he walked up to Hardison, grabbing his shoulders and forcing the hacker to look him directly in the eye. "You're not a killer. You did what you had to do to stay alive and the fact that it's eating at you like this says something. That's what's makes you different from a killer."

He shook his head in disagreement. "It doesn't change what I did."

"No it doesn't but can't let it change you...who you are. You're stronger than that. You're better than that." Reaching out, he grabbed the bottle from Hardison's hand and shook it. "Half the bottle is already gone."

Hardison could only scoff disbelievingly. "Do you have any idea how long it takes to get everything ready for a con. Sometimes I have to stay awake for two or three days just to make sure I have everything ready by the time job starts. Orange soda and coffee just doesn't cut it."

Eliot flashed back to the job that required Hardison to make an authentic looking diary from the 1700's to fool a mark. The con required a lot of work from the hacker to make sure it real and he only had a short time to get it done. Hardison barely slept, making sure everything was perfect and the con was a complete success. Now Eliot knew how the younger man was able to pull it off and why he was acting so crazy. "Does Nate know you take these?"

"Nope," he answered, shaking his head. "But even if he did it wouldn't matter. Whatever it takes to get the job done, right."

"That's true, he probably wouldn't care," agreed Eliot with a smirk. "But Sophie would."

"You wouldn't," Hardison gasped, flinching slightly knowing exactly what the grifter would do if she found out what he had been doing. She would never let him out of her sight and more than likely smother him with motherly affection.

Eliot nodded. "I won't but only if you promise to stop taking them."

Frowning angrily, Hardison crossed his arms and gave Eliot a stern glare. When he realized that the hitter wasn't going to give him any leeway he let out a bitter huff. "Fine."

"Good," smiled Eliot triumphantly for a moment before he let out a sigh. "Seriously Hardison you need to start taking better care of yourself. What you're doing can have disastrous affects on your body in the long run."

"How else am supposed to do what I do without them?" he asked sadly.

"You're human Hardison, act like it. When you need to sleep, sleep."

"But what about when Nate-"

Eliot let out a growl. "Screw Nate," he hissed. "This is about you and what you're gonna do. First, you're going to take a shower and then get some sleep."

"What are you going to do?" asked Hardison, his brow furrowed with curiosity.

Eliot simply shrugged and nodded his head towards the direction of the kitchen. "Make you some real food."

Not having the strength to argue Hardison shrugged his shoulders. "Alright," he sighed as he slowly began making his way towards the bathroom. Stopping suddenly, he turned back to Eliot and called out his name. The hitter stopped what he was doing and turned towards him.

"Yeah."

"Thanks man," replied Hardison, voice full of appreciation.

Eliot didn't say anything instead giving the hacker a firm nod and a smile.

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Hardison continued his journey to the bathroom and immediately discarded his worn clothes as he turned on the water for his shower. The shower was quick and refreshing, the hot water soothing all the aches he gained from the continuous gaming he participated in. By the time he got out he was feeling more relaxed than he had all week.

As he was pulling a t-shirt over his head, he could hear Eliot moving around in his kitchen and a part of him was curious as to what the hitter was cooking. Deciding it wasn't a good idea to go ask, Hardison climbed into bed and drifted off to sleep.

When he woke up it was darker in his room than it should have been and he glanced over at the clock to see that it was thirty minutes past seven in the evening. Stretching, he climbed out of the bed and walked out of his bedroom to find Eliot nowhere to be found. But he was surprised to see both his kitchen and living room completely spotless. Hardison was also surprised to see Parker watching television, holding her stuffed bunny.

"Parker," he called out to the blond. "What are you doing here?"

After a quick glance at him, she picked up the remote and muted the volume. "Eliot called me," she answered with a frown. "Said you shouldn't be alone."

"Did he tell anything else?" asked Hardison nervously as he sat down on the arm of the sofa.

Parker shook her head. "Nope, nothing else."

Hardison let out a sigh of relief. "That's good," he smiled gratefully standing up only to have Parker grab his wrist keeping him still.

"Unless you're talking about the pills you take to keep you awake but he didn't need to tell me anything, I already know," Parker informed the hacker.

Sliding down next to her on the sofa, he lowered his head down in shame as he let out a shaky breath. "You know," he whispered, refusing to look at her.

"Yep," replied Parker, nodding her head. "I've known for a while."

"Why didn't you say anything."

Parker shrugged. "I don't know. Figured it was one of those you would tell me if you really wanted me to know. Plus I trust you to be careful."

Hardison scoffed loudly. "Eliot didn't."

"Because Eliot knows more about those drugs and their affects than I do. Or I didn't until Eliot told me. Those pills are really dangerous," her voice laced with concern.

"Well you don't have to worry," Hardison replied, smiling slightly as he finally looked up at her. "Eliot took my bottle and I don't think I could get away with taking them with Eliot watching me like a hawk," he finished rolling his eyes.

Parker gave him a wide smile before she leaned over and kissed him softly. "Good," she replied happily after pulling away. "You don't need them."

"Now I have no choice but to sleep."

"I know, that's why I brought this." Before he could say anything she took the stuff bunny and thrust it into his hands. "It's Bunny," she said as if he didn't already know what it was.

He swallowed, trying his best to down sob that threatened to come up. Everyone knew that the stuffed animal was one of the things Parker loved almost as much as she loved money. Hardison couldn't believe that she was actually letting him hold her most treasured possession. "You're letting me sleep with Bunny," he asked in awe as he gently caressed the fur of the stuffed rabbit.

Nodding her head, she wrapped her arms around his waist and held them both close. "He been the best at keeping bad dreams away for me and I know he can do the same for you."

"Thanks mama," he whispered gratefully as he placed a kiss on the top of her head. "I just hope I don't let you guys down," stated Hardison completely worried how not having the pills as backup would affect his work.

She simply held him tighter. "You won't. I trust that in end you will always come through for us."

Hardison chuckled. "That's a lot of trust."

"Yeah it is but you totally deserve it." Leaning up she kissed him once more, caressing his face as she did so before standing up and pointing towards the kitchen. "Now let's eat," she demanded, grabbing his arms to lift him up. "I'm under strict orders to make sure you eat or Eliot's gonna kick both our butts."

Before he let her dragged them to the kitchen he cupped the back of her neck and pulled her close, kissing her passionately after he did so. "Thanks Parker," he smiled softly, resting their foreheads together after they pulled apart.

Parker looked up at him with curious eyes. "For what?"

"Being here."

"Anytime," she responded with her usual loving reply as she dragged Hardison with her to the kitchen.

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And that's how you write a sequel baby. Okay seriously, not really the bragging type I just hope it was a good read. About the pills, like I said I'm not sure if they have prescription pills that help you stay awake but if they do that's what I was going for. I also hope it didn't sound OCC but IMHO Hardison does a lot to get the team ready for the cons and that seems like it would take alot of time so it's completely plausible that he would pop pills in order to stay awake. Anyways if you liked it don't be shy, send me a review and until next time,

Stay true to yourself but lie to everyone else,

Ladycizzle


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